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Loose Change and a Box of Good & Plenty

by The Flaming Intestines

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Griffy
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1.
I Have Shirts to Hang in the Closet but No Hangers to Speak of 01:55
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Every week I take my shirts to the cleaners To have clean garments is my goal But every time I go there I could kill those wieners This utter nonsense has taken its toll I get so mad because my clothes are all folded So I get their manager, Ned I dry cleaned him ‘til his skin was all scalded “I want ‘em on hangers,” I said I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of I have shirts to hang in the closet And liquid Downy they reek of I’m sick and tired of folded clothes And Ned’s gonna end up with a broken nose I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of They never listen to my simple request Folding and folding my shirts They’d put ‘em on hangers if they knew what’s best ‘Cause now I’m gonna make ‘em hurt So I broke into the cleaners, what else could I do To get those hangers true? I saw a box full of hangers with a sign in view It said, “Don’t give those to Stu!” I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of I have shirts to hang in the closet And liquid Downy they reek of I’m sick and tired of folded clothes And Ned’s gonna end up with a broken nose I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of So yesterday I went to the pick up my garments To see if they put ‘em on hangers today Well they did, those whipper snappin’ varmints But I killed Ned anyway I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of I have shirts to hang in the closet And liquid Downy they reek of I’m sick and tired of folded clothes And Ned’s gonna end up with a broken nose I have shirts to hang in the closet But no hangers to speak of
2.
49 Ways to Die 03:10
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Falling off a cliff to your rocky doom Getting your legs caught in a weaving loom Being impaled upon the antlers of a buck Having your face run over by a Mack truck Submerging yourself in molten lead Driving a circular saw into your head Starving until you are nothing but bones Choking to death on a push button phone Eating bad mushrooms ‘til you puke out yer guts Letting a guy beat you with coconuts Stubbing your toe on the coffee table Sticking a pitchfork through your navel Having diarrhea ‘til your colon falls out Getting your arm bitten off by a trout 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die Swimming in a pool of piranha fish Getting trapped under an enormous knish Going down a slide leading straight to hell Tripping on a rock and falling down a well Using a hacksaw to try to shave Being gunned down by a guy named Dave Putting out a cigarette in your eye Leaping off the Eiffel tower so you can fly Standing in the pathway of a Greyhound bus Drinking 60 gallons of buzzard pus Shoving lit dynamite down your throat Getting bit by a snake with no antidote Walking in front of a runaway train Getting pummeled by cashews ‘til you’re driven insane 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die Slicing your wrists with a razor blade Drinking all the poison in a can of Raid Getting your nuts bit off by a dalmation Being strangled by a lei on Hawaiian vacation Not eating enough iron in your diet Ripping out your liver and having someone fry it Detonating a nuclear device on your house Pulling out your pancreas and feeding it to a mouse Chopping off your genitals in your mom’s new blender Being mowed down in a sniper’s bloody splendor Getting trapped under a mountain of Jim Ed Brown tapes Stuffing your face with 147 grapes Imploding several times until you are gone Stepping on a land mine in your front lawn Stabbing yourself with an obsidian dagger Getting false signals from a construction work flagger Choking on a huge tobacco chaw Being head butted by the Pope John Paul Poking out your eye on a hat marked Dunce Picking the same scab for 28 months Having all of these things happen at once 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die 49 ways to die
3.
Ma Dawg 00:33
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Ma dawg is black He's got hairs and fleas And he’ll bite off yer balls Like a couple of peas Ma dawg Ma dawg Ma dawg He’s got four legs And a flea and tick collar When he chews on your guts You’ll scream and holler He's got one bad eye And a big pink dick He don’t care what he eats Or if it makes him sick Ma dawg Ma dawg Ma dawg He likes to chase cats He likes to chase mice You better watch out Ma dawg ain’t nice Ma dawg Ma dawg Ma dawg
4.
The Power of JNT 04:10
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The mystery of when the world began Is solved when you gaze upon one guitar wielding man Strums a single chord in the key of E You’d better run for cover when his shiny pick you see The sound turns mountains into dust Fills the Earth with fissures spewing magma from the crust Drains all the color from the world’s supply of runts Don’t even try, you can’t deny, the power of the JNT The power of JNT Feel the power of JNT The deadly power of JNT Feel the power of JNT The power of JNT The power of JNT The deadly power of JNT JNT blows the eyeballs from your face Singes off your eyebrow and shatters your Aunt Faye’s vase Then turns the broken shards into spinning two edged blades They get lodged into your eye sockets, you’ll need to buy some shades JNT shakes your organs into pus Eviscerates your cartilage, and implodes your Uncle Gus So now your gonna have to face the wrath of your Aunt Faye Because a JNT destroyed her husband and favorite vase in the same day! The power of JNT It's the power of JNT Feel the deadly power of the JNT The power of JNT The power of JNT Feel the power of JNT The Big Bang... the power of JNT Pompeii... a solitary JNT Hiroshima... one big JNT The Twin Towers? Well, no... that was a terrorist attack by 19 Muslim extremists... except for Building 7... demolished by the power of JNT! My remote control? Power of JNT My electric toothbrush? JNT JNT JNT The Higgs boson particle? They discovered the JNT The Flux Capacitor? Now you know there’s no way a bolt of lightning produces 1.21 gigowatts of power. Emmett Brown’s DeLorean was fueled by one of Jake's tremendous, awesome JNTs The power of JNT Feel the power of JNT The power of JNT The deadly power of JNT Feel the power of JNT Feel the power of JNT The power of JNT The deadly power of JNT Awesome power of JNT JNT JNT JNT JNT JNT JNT
5.
Your Love Burns Through My Intestines Like a Hot Bowl of Guacamole 03:40
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Baybay, the only thing I wanna do is be with you Baybay, I know deep down inside you that you feel that way too Baybay, whenever we’re together it feels like a mack truck rolling over my face Baybay, whenever I see you it feels like a bludgeon on the head with a big steel mace Your love burns through my intestines like a hot bowl of guacamole Your love feels like a razor being driven through my abdomen Your love feels like a bullet piercing through my skull and spraying its hot, sticky contents all over the pavement so some hapless stranger can walk by and slip on them Your love makes me feel just grand Baybay, I know deep down inside you that you just wanna be with me Baybay, I know deep down inside me that I just wanna be with you. That’s all I wanna do. Baybay, whenever we’re together it feels like a mack truck rolling over my face Baybay, whenever I see you it feels like a bludgeon on the head with a big steel mace Your love burns through my intestines like a hot bowl of guacamole Your love feels like a razor being driven through my abdomen Your love feels like a bullet piercing through my skull and spraying its hot, sticky contents all over the pavement so some hapless stranger can walk by and slip on them Your love makes me feel just grand
6.
The Trap 04:11
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Driving down the road The streets are kind of wet Your deth’ll be sealed today On this you can bet The Trap Deth The Trap There is no escape Tires start to squal You see some hair that’s red Before you can scream You’re already dead The Trap Deth The Trap There is no escape Dwight is coming for your blood You’re gonna die like I knew you would You will die In the trap Driving down the road The streets are kind of wet Your deth’ll be sealed today On this you can bet The Trap Deth The Trap There is no escape
7.
Numerous Guys Walking down the Street 02:22
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A guy named Sully walkin’ down the street A guy named Ed walkin’ down the street A guy named Gabe walkin’ down the street A guy named Murry walkin’ down the street A guy named Chuck walkin’ down the street A guy named Biff walkin’ down the street A guy named Dirk walkin’ down the street A guy named Dex walkin’ down the street A guy named Walter walkin’ down the street A guy named Bearl walkin’ down the street A guy named Gus walkin’ down the street And a guy named Willie walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street A guy named Ernie walkin’ down the street A guy named Lou walkin’ down the street A guy named Marvin walkin’ down the street A guy named Buster walkin’ down the street A guy named Don walkin’ down the street A guy named Gaylord walkin’ down the street A guy named Hern walkin’ down the street A guy named Boris walkin’ down the street A guy named Gunther walkin’ down the street A guy named Al walkin’ down the street A guy named Smedly walkin’ down the street A guy named Rogelio walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street Numerous guys walkin’ down the street
8.
Blickm Blick JNT 00:03
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Blickm Blickm JNT
9.
The Not Real Pleasant Song 02:15
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One fine day I was walking down the street I was minding my own business not really doing anything wrong When this guy named Barney came up and breathed on me So I grabbed him by the neck and spit in his face and said I’m gonna do something really bad to ya And I’m really quite sure you won’t like it I’m considering doing something possibly kinda mean to ya And I don’t think it’ll feel real nice Well, I pinned him down to the pavement And I started pinching him sorta hard And then I… I… hurt him real, real bad When I gave him a nuggie Don’t even say I didn’t warn him I’m gonna do something that won’t be very pleasant to ya And you’ll probably yell or cry I’m considering doing something real nasty to ya And I don’t think it will be in your best interest No siree, Bob So then I picked him up and hr looked like he’d had enough But I went and pulled his underwear out and snapped the waistband against his back just for good measure And then you know what I did? I just looked him in the eye real mean And I said, “That’ll teach ya, mister.” I’m gonna do something that’ll make you wish I hadn’t done it to ya And I’m really pretty positive that you’ll be real sore I’m thinking of making you feel real… bad And I’m sure that you won’t be laughing when I do it And maybe I’m gonna teach you a lesson And you’re gonna be in a great amount of discomfort when I do And I might just hurt you sorta bad So you just better watch your step, pal Oh yeah, did I mention that you won’t like it? And you’ll probably be real, real ... Bad
10.
Burning Out My Retinas by Looking at an Eclipse 02:54
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I got this feeling down deep in my soul Bloody pleasure will be my goal I will inflict pain on myself Not money, torture is my wealth I look forward to that time of the year When the sun administers chaos and fear Everyone says look away But if you don’t mind, I think I’ll stay The moon is the sun’s evil accomplice And together they hope to dis But not me, I await their arrival And that ominous luminous eclipse Burning out my retinas by looking at an eclipse Moon and sun think they can dis Burning out my retinas by looking at an eclipse Moon and sun think they can dis But not me Pupils spewing, losing sight Never blinking, staring into the light Never stop that burning passion Retina on my shirt is my fashion My eyes pop out as my tissues tear Blood and pus squirting everywhere Hot bowling anguish as I scream When this is over I won’t be clean Some people think me insane But they have never felt this much pain If you don’t like it, turn away ‘Cause melting retina is coming your way Burning out my retinas by looking at an eclipse Moon and sun think they can dis Burning out my retinas by looking at an eclipse Moon and sun think they can dis But not me
11.
A Quarter 00:06
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12.
Silver Eagle 02:23
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credits

released August 25, 2020

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The Flaming Intestines Cincinnati, Ohio

From the beginning of time, The Flaming Intestines lived in a trailer park, located due East of the Magma Core of the Earth. A suburb of Hell. One afternoon as they were practicing for an upcoming gig, an unexpected surge of molten lava swept them away in its current. Eventually, they were spewed upward and out of the mouth of a normally dormant volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. ... more

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