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Ladleful o' Deth

by The Flaming Intestines

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1.
Eggs Over Easy 02:31
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Went to a diner for a bite to eat Don’t need a menu when I take my seat Just grab the waitress by the neck Tell her “Fill out the check! I want a protein meal that doesn’t include meat.” Now peanut butter just won’t hit the spot Yogurt tastes like a bowl of snot Don't give me hummus, or mushrooms Or any kind of legumes What I want, I want now, and nice and hot So gimme eggs over easy And make ‘em nice and greezy Need the protein in my diet So make it quick and fry it Eggs over easy Don’t wanna play Parcheesi If you aren’t gonna make it I’ll take your neck and break it The eggs didn’t arrive in a timely fashion i went into the kitchen and I started smashin grabbed the cook, broke his legs Don’t make we wait for my eggs!” Then stuffed his body in the can that they put the trash in The guy next to me had a Belgian waffle He turned and said to me “This tastes awful” I poured pepper down his nose Stamped my foot on his toes And did something else that was real unlawful Shoulda ordered eggs over easy They make ‘em nice and cheesy They give you lots of protein Even more than most beans Eggs over easy When waffles make you queasy The yolks are still all runny Cooked a little bit more than sunny Eggs over easy And make ‘em nice and greezy Need the protein in my diet So make it quick and fry it Eggs over easy Don’t wanna play Parcheesi If you aren’t gonna make it I’ll take your neck and break it
2.
Liquid Satan 02:28
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I get home from making metal And my tummy starts to bug me If I don't put something in my gut It's gonna get real ugly Some steamy Satan sounds delicious I'd really like to do it But I'm feeling kinda tired tonight And I just don't wanna chew it Preparation can be tricky But I’ve got it down to a science As luck would have it, my kitchen's stocked With the very best appliance It's made of brushed nickel Got blades of obsidian So I grab a gristly chunk o beast And throw my deviled eats in Liquid Satan Liquid Satan I used to eat Satan flambé Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Now it's all Satan puree Liquid Satan Liquid Satan When I’m feeling kind of choosy Liquid Satan Liquid Satan I just want Satan smoothies So I put on some years And a couple inches on my waist My doctor says to eat less fat And watch my carb intake Evil deities are kinda fatty When they’re freshly mortified But if you grind it up you'll find You feel completely fortified I can be a picky eater I've got a rather discerning palate With an appetite like mine It's not easy to corral it In its molten liquid form It's impossible to store But I have Jim Halsey's thermos So now I'm gonna pour Liquid Satan Liquid Satan I loved chewy demon gizzard Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Now I just add it to my blizzard Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Demons can be tough to whisk Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Mephestopheles in bisque And when we've milked our metal fans For everything they're worth We'll join the metal old folks home In the magma core of earth Jake'll play some deth guitar Blude chicken colon'll drum And when we take a break We'll have a snack that we can gum Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Beelzebub is meaty Liquid Satan Liquid Satan I’d rather have Satan bellini Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Once Satan was a snack for me Liquid Satan Liquid Satan Now I prefer Satan daiquiri
3.
Links of Destruction 03:11
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Its stolid form looms over us ready to waylay Anyone who foolishly tries to come its way A wall of certain doom impervious to all If you try to challenge it, you certainly will fall The battleground is covered with carnage and decay The casualties enumerate with every passing day There have been no survivors as far as I recall Except for those who are the bricks that make this deadly wall Links of destruction Cause human life reduction Its victims are extinct If they try to break the links You better pray to God that they don’t call your name Cause if they do your body will be mangled, marred and maimed Participating in this battle means you must be insane But regardless of your mental state you’re gonna scream in pain It’s too late now, you joined the game, but you’ll regret you did You’re gonna have to ante up, you life’s the lowest bid Chances are that you’ll be dead before the game is over Cuz few are those who can survive the fury of red rover Links of destruction Cause blood count deduction You cannot break the links No matter what you thinks Red rover red rover Send little Timmy over He’s only coming back If he’s in a body sack Links of destruction An impervious obstruction Links of destruction There are no instructions Links of destruction Blood is its production Links of destruction You don’t want an introduction links of destruction You'll be drawn into its suction Beware of its seduction carnage reproduction body pile construction
4.
I Kiltm 00:51
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At the store feeling fantastic He gave me paper instead of plastic What’d you do Stu? I Kiltm, I Kiltm Accountant called gave me the news Told me 200 dollars was due What happened next, Stu? I Kiltm, I Kiltm Sitting under a tree in my yard Acorn fell on my head kinda hard How'd you handle that, Stu? I Kiltm, I Kiltm Watching my favorite TV show Power goes out with five minutes to go Ya do something new, Stu? I Kiltm, I Kiltm Then I had a dark chocolate bar Sun melted it onto the seat of my car Lemme guess what you did, Stu. I Kiltm, I Kiltm At the gas station feelin’ fine Guy pumps 87 octane instead of 89 What'd you do, Stu? I let him go...Nah, I Kiltm
5.
Minestrone 02:11
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I was in the airport the other day Walking through security, I get stopped by the TSA He opened up my bag and he pulled out a can He asked “What’s this?” I said “It’s Minestrone, man.” He said “We’re gonna have to take the soup.” Suddenly I look around and I’m surrounded by a group I said “This isn’t liquid, it’s mostly beans and veggies. If you confiscate my soup, I’m gonna give you all some wedgies!” The TSA Will rue the day They took away My Minestron-ay The TSA Will rue the day They took away My Minestron-ay Just when I have two fists full of waistbands They hit me with a taser, and tried to cuff my hands But I won’t be subdued by tools of electrocution So instead I gave that gang of thugs a taste of retribution First I shoved one of them in the bag x-ray machine Stuffed the rest into the body scanner just like they were sardines Turned that thing on high and fried em all down to their brain Grabbed my Minestrone and just barely made my plane The TSA Will rue the day They took away My Minestron-ay The TSA Will rue the day They took away Stu's Minestron-ay

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released January 1, 2019

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The Flaming Intestines Cincinnati, Ohio

From the beginning of time, The Flaming Intestines lived in a trailer park, located due East of the Magma Core of the Earth. A suburb of Hell. One afternoon as they were practicing for an upcoming gig, an unexpected surge of molten lava swept them away in its current. Eventually, they were spewed upward and out of the mouth of a normally dormant volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. ... more

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