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1. |
Eggs Over Easy
02:31
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Went to a diner for a bite to eat
Don’t need a menu when I take my seat
Just grab the waitress by the neck
Tell her “Fill out the check!
I want a protein meal that doesn’t include meat.”
Now peanut butter just won’t hit the spot
Yogurt tastes like a bowl of snot
Don't give me hummus, or mushrooms
Or any kind of legumes
What I want, I want now, and nice and hot
So gimme eggs over easy
And make ‘em nice and greezy
Need the protein in my diet
So make it quick and fry it
Eggs over easy
Don’t wanna play Parcheesi
If you aren’t gonna make it
I’ll take your neck and break it
The eggs didn’t arrive in a timely fashion
i went into the kitchen and I started smashin
grabbed the cook, broke his legs
Don’t make we wait for my eggs!”
Then stuffed his body in the can that they put the trash in
The guy next to me had a Belgian waffle
He turned and said to me “This tastes awful”
I poured pepper down his nose
Stamped my foot on his toes
And did something else that was real unlawful
Shoulda ordered eggs over easy
They make ‘em nice and cheesy
They give you lots of protein
Even more than most beans
Eggs over easy
When waffles make you queasy
The yolks are still all runny
Cooked a little bit more than sunny
Eggs over easy
And make ‘em nice and greezy
Need the protein in my diet
So make it quick and fry it
Eggs over easy
Don’t wanna play Parcheesi
If you aren’t gonna make it
I’ll take your neck and break it
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2. |
Liquid Satan
02:28
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I get home from making metal
And my tummy starts to bug me
If I don't put something in my gut
It's gonna get real ugly
Some steamy Satan sounds delicious
I'd really like to do it
But I'm feeling kinda tired tonight
And I just don't wanna chew it
Preparation can be tricky
But I’ve got it down to a science
As luck would have it, my kitchen's stocked
With the very best appliance
It's made of brushed nickel
Got blades of obsidian
So I grab a gristly chunk o beast
And throw my deviled eats in
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
I used to eat Satan flambé
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Now it's all Satan puree
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
When I’m feeling kind of choosy
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
I just want Satan smoothies
So I put on some years
And a couple inches on my waist
My doctor says to eat less fat
And watch my carb intake
Evil deities are kinda fatty
When they’re freshly mortified
But if you grind it up you'll find
You feel completely fortified
I can be a picky eater
I've got a rather discerning palate
With an appetite like mine
It's not easy to corral it
In its molten liquid form
It's impossible to store
But I have Jim Halsey's thermos
So now I'm gonna pour
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
I loved chewy demon gizzard
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Now I just add it to my blizzard
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Demons can be tough to whisk
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Mephestopheles in bisque
And when we've milked our metal fans
For everything they're worth
We'll join the metal old folks home
In the magma core of earth
Jake'll play some deth guitar
Blude chicken colon'll drum
And when we take a break
We'll have a snack that we can gum
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Beelzebub is meaty
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
I’d rather have Satan bellini
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Once Satan was a snack for me
Liquid Satan
Liquid Satan
Now I prefer Satan daiquiri
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3. |
Links of Destruction
03:11
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Its stolid form looms over us ready to waylay
Anyone who foolishly tries to come its way
A wall of certain doom impervious to all
If you try to challenge it, you certainly will fall
The battleground is covered with carnage and decay
The casualties enumerate with every passing day
There have been no survivors as far as I recall
Except for those who are the bricks that make this deadly wall
Links of destruction
Cause human life reduction
Its victims are extinct
If they try to break the links
You better pray to God that they don’t call your name
Cause if they do your body will be mangled, marred and maimed
Participating in this battle means you must be insane
But regardless of your mental state you’re gonna scream in pain
It’s too late now, you joined the game, but you’ll regret you did
You’re gonna have to ante up, you life’s the lowest bid
Chances are that you’ll be dead before the game is over
Cuz few are those who can survive the fury of red rover
Links of destruction
Cause blood count deduction
You cannot break the links
No matter what you thinks
Red rover red rover
Send little Timmy over
He’s only coming back
If he’s in a body sack
Links of destruction
An impervious obstruction
Links of destruction
There are no instructions
Links of destruction
Blood is its production
Links of destruction
You don’t want an introduction
links of destruction
You'll be drawn into its suction
Beware of its seduction
carnage reproduction
body pile construction
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4. |
I Kiltm
00:51
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At the store feeling fantastic
He gave me paper instead of plastic
What’d you do Stu?
I Kiltm, I Kiltm
Accountant called gave me the news
Told me 200 dollars was due
What happened next, Stu?
I Kiltm, I Kiltm
Sitting under a tree in my yard
Acorn fell on my head kinda hard
How'd you handle that, Stu?
I Kiltm, I Kiltm
Watching my favorite TV show
Power goes out with five minutes to go
Ya do something new, Stu?
I Kiltm, I Kiltm
Then I had a dark chocolate bar
Sun melted it onto the seat of my car
Lemme guess what you did, Stu.
I Kiltm, I Kiltm
At the gas station feelin’ fine
Guy pumps 87 octane instead of 89
What'd you do, Stu?
I let him go...Nah, I Kiltm
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5. |
Minestrone
02:11
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I was in the airport the other day
Walking through security, I get stopped by the TSA
He opened up my bag and he pulled out a can
He asked “What’s this?” I said “It’s Minestrone, man.”
He said “We’re gonna have to take the soup.”
Suddenly I look around and I’m surrounded by a group
I said “This isn’t liquid, it’s mostly beans and veggies.
If you confiscate my soup, I’m gonna give you all some wedgies!”
The TSA
Will rue the day
They took away
My Minestron-ay
The TSA
Will rue the day
They took away
My Minestron-ay
Just when I have two fists full of waistbands
They hit me with a taser, and tried to cuff my hands
But I won’t be subdued by tools of electrocution
So instead I gave that gang of thugs a taste of retribution
First I shoved one of them in the bag x-ray machine
Stuffed the rest into the body scanner just like they were sardines
Turned that thing on high and fried em all down to their brain
Grabbed my Minestrone and just barely made my plane
The TSA
Will rue the day
They took away
My Minestron-ay
The TSA
Will rue the day
They took away
Stu's Minestron-ay
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The Flaming Intestines Cincinnati, Ohio
From the beginning of time, The Flaming Intestines lived in a trailer park, located due East of the Magma Core of the Earth. A suburb of Hell. One afternoon as they were practicing for an upcoming gig, an unexpected surge of molten lava swept them away in its current. Eventually, they were spewed upward and out of the mouth of a normally dormant volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. ... more
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